In all of this I never was so surprised as to have thought that anything was so unexpected… and yet in a sense it all has been. It is true that with age, time goes much more wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww oops nodded off again. There you go that’s unexpected by me. Ha! Unless you’re my husband waiting again for the rest of the thought and knowing that once sleep even in its briefest form touched my brain the slate would be yet again clear of any hope to recover the subject. The words jam up tripping over eachother in an frantic attempt to be heard before there is no chance.
I’m told the good thing is that from here on out things just gradually slide downhill – with fewer dramatic plunges left to recover from. The bad news is there is no effective meds at this stage with the praised laurels others receive. That’s okay. I did my part in providing information by trying that medication. It hadn’t gone as hoped. And now I am through with it. This will be an opinion to be contended with. But it is what it is. It is as it is. I did try to change that. Now it will become someone else’s mirror. Mine had shattered and is reforming. New horizons or a new view. A new day awaits and I will not keep time at its feet. I will march along to the music in my heart… it is the one that has to matter most . Tomorrow a pricking , a reminder that it isn’t ongoing, that this life is finite and t I will climb the hills to my best of ability. There really is very little bu Just help me keep my head above. I’m told that all that is as it is meant to be, To a better morrow. this Rejoice in this day Celebrate the gifts and the struggles…therein lies your character and there in lies your peace.