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Speech Therapy

Possibly the best therapy I have been sent for evaluation. Oddly enough it isn’t so much for the speech issue. Thank you brain stem for trying to hang in there.  Hopefully we will be able to bring about fewer choking episodes. ..SOON>

I remember having choked in younger years. I remember being held upside down as a child and having my back smacked to dislodge a cough drop. I remember choking on food occasionally as an adult- simple cough and all was good. Nothing like these episodes- where the room darkens, the sound changes, the spakles appear in my vision and I think this is it I’m going out. I won’t further divulge the rest. It’s nasty and messy. You know, some would say that is what they are afraid of in dying. They are afraid of the pain, the mess, the nasty…that my friends isn’t death. That is what goes on in this side. On the other side is the release, the freedom from all of this that haunts the body and mind. Better days are coming – still in this life- better moments at least. And in the end better future for all.

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2 thoughts on “Speech Therapy

  1. Good heaven, Bettemae, the ordeals you’ve been struggling with sound monumental. I’m so sorry to hear of it. But I’m glad, if I understand correctly, that there may be some relief in sight? I certainly hope so. I will be thinking of you and sending you as many positive thoughts as I’m able.
    Stay strong, my friend.

  2. Well, I am hoping for relief to be in sight. I am choosing to believe it’s all temporary because as we know no matter what things change. I try not to see them as good or bad changes. That can lead to too much of an emotional roller coaster in chronic progressive illness. I try to just see things as different when changes come my way- good or bad. Everyone has a wagon full of what they deal with. Mine is no better or worse because to whoever pulls their load there’s is a priority I suppose. I know in the end what the highest likelihood of the end of my story is to be- but in truth we all know that- just maybe not the likely specifics. And that’s just reality. It is just part of the grand circle of life. While I miss so much of what my previous abilities were, I have to remember how blessed I was to have had those abilities in the first place and that as I have shifted out of a lot of things I loved (being a nurse for example), I know that in my having had to leave that has made room for yet another nurse to step into those shoes. Just as when my time comes to move onto the next leg of our journey, I will have left room for another life to use resources I no longer will be using and it will be that life’s beginning to work on their passions. It is what it is and there are times it feels overwhelming but I don’t have the luxury to wallow in that for long. Life is precious and eventually it takes all of us on a journey we hadn’t counted on. But that’s okay. Life should be unpredictable to some extent, messy, confusing, frustrating and wonderfully surprising, curious, beautiful. and too short to get caught up in focusing on our little part of it all. Thank you for your interest and caring and input.

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